sorry, my bad!

okay, awl ak bangun hari nh, and ak merasakan mcm perlu update blog ttg something. something that has bugged me since my first semester i became a university student.

and ak tulis nh bukan utk sakitkan hati sesape - benda nh sgt general and sbg teguran utk kau org dan ak jugak.

tp kalau terasa jugak, i'm so sorry okay... :(

1) niat belajar

seriously, kenapa kau org amik course yg kau amik skang nh? pernah fikir tak? ak byk kali fikir. betul ke sebenarnya choice ak nak amek tesl? betul ke ak nk jd cikgu? senang ke tesl nh? etc etc, and it became clearer bila ak dh masuk degree. ak start jd sure bila ade sorg lecturer ak nh penah story pasal die interview budak2 yg nak amek tesl lah. budak nh dpt straight As. and lecturer ak nh sgt wondering kenapa budak nh nak amik tesl despite her good results. and tiba2 sorg membe ak ckp "mmg salah la decision dia tuh". hairanlah - if it's wrong then kenapa kau amik? kenapa lepas habis asasi kau sambung B. Ed. TESL, bukan degree course lain? padahal kau mmg ade dpt offer utk pegi course lain. sbb job prospects? sbb course nh relax? what makes us think yg budak2 result tak seberapa je boleh amik tesl? kalau kita sendiri ade mindset cenggini, cemane kita nak excel syg. cemane kau nak ada minat dkt course yg kau amik. so apa niat anda belajar sebenarnya? niat belajar kena betul syg, kalau tak kau maintain pointer atas 3 atau dpt 4 flat beribu-ribu kali pun, ilmu boleh jd tak berkat. ak tgk sendiri, ada sorg member ak tak dpt fly sambung course medic, and dia sendiri yg ckp: "niat belajar ak salah. ak nak jadi doktor sbb ak fikir boleh dpt byk duit." ak pun admit la, mula2 ak amik tesl sbb mak ayah ak suruh. tp skang, niat ak belajar nh sbb Allah dh wajibkan umat Islam tuntut ilmu + senangkan hidup mak ayah ak + ak nak tmbh ilmu ak. samalah mcm kau amek third language or minor. better amik yg betul2 kita minat dr amik something yg senang nak score/course market.

jd papehal pun, jom kita betulkan niat belajar kita - utk Allah, utk happykan mak ayah, utk self-satisfaction sbb manusia mmg sentiasa ada rasa utk tambah ilmu pengetahuan sendiri. :)

2) "weird" people

kau penah tak jumpa org yg kau rase hati dia perlu dijaga setiap masa? mcm contoh, korg hang out, and kau tak pernah voice out opinion kau and selalu ikut decision dia - nak mkn dulu ke nak tgk movie, nak karok lagu apa, nak balik awal ke lmbt. err... ak tataw cemane nak describe org cenggini, cuz i think they're not bad people. they're just... different from others. ak penah encounter org cenggini, and ak selalu rase mcm something is wrong everytime lepak dgn dia. setiap masa ak akan terpikir: alamak, dia tarik muka, mst ak ade buat something yg die tak suka and end up hari hang out tuh buat ak takde mood happy langsung. asek resah gelisah jek acecece. and nh bukan salah dorg pun, kdg2 kita tak sedar kan perbuatan kita tu affect org lain. maybe i'm just thinking too much. :P

but i will truly appreciate if org2 cmnh sedar yg mimik muka dorg tuh boleh bg mcm2 tanggapan kt org lain. tq in advance. :)

3) cakap tak serupa bikin

okay, honestly, kita semua penah buat benda nh - including me. mcm, kita tegur org supaya jgn carut2 tp sambil tegur tu pn kita mencarut2 jugak. ahaha. ak dgn ungku dah capai satu kata persetujuan - everyone has this part within themselves. which is not a good thing, sbb Allah penah bagitau kn, our every words will be used against us in afterlife nnt [ak tak ingat ayat Quran yg mane. oh God, otak maahad ak mmg dah rusty gila]. ade yg lg bertuah tu, okay ak taulah kau nk nasihat org, tp tak boleh ke nk guna pendekatan lembut sikit? lain org lain cara. cara kekerasan tu boleh apply kat certain2 org jek. Rasulullah pun jarang tegur org dgn suara keras kan? matlamat tak menghalalkan cara ye syg2.

4) lopong solat 5 waktu

and honestly jugak, ak pun tak terlepas dr buat benda nh. kdg2 tertidur tak ingat dunia smpy boleh lupa nak semayang. yg ini pun someone kena remind ak selalu. :P

ak penah kejut sorg roomate ak smyg subuh. bila ak gerak die, die tak bangun. so ak bukak lampu bilik. die boleh bangun sound ak and tidur balik. lepas tuh ak tak berani kejut die dah. ini personal opinion ak, jgn terasa ye - everytime ak terbangun lewat and tak sempat nak semayang subuh, something bad is bound to happen during that day. and bila ak sibuk2 mourning "what did i do wrong?" and stuff, jawapan die senang jek - the start of my day is already wrong, takde berkat. astaghfirullah, teruk perangai atiqah shaharudin nh. tp ak lg kesian tgk org yg tak semayang langsung - ak rase mcm ada satu cahaya dh ilang dr dorg. cemane nak cakap eh? and ade lg sorg nh lg extreme - time org duk baca ayat Quran sblm azan subuh tuh die boleh buat main2 ayat2 tu. encik, kau tak sedar ke advantage surau dekat dgn rumah? hari2 5x sehari kau boleh dpt pahala 27 kali ganda lebih dr ak yg slalu duk lmbt2 semayang nh. tataw nk ckp, mmg kesian sungguh kt org yg tak sedar apa yg dia ada. hmm.

5) friend issues

benda yg akan jadi kat ak every semester. yg hairannya tak penah jadi masa ak kat maahad dulu. maybe betul ckp Miss ***** - budak asrama ade strong friendship. which she unfortunately thought as a bad thing. for me, tu benda plg best penah jd dlm hidup ak. bukanlah nak kate kt uitm ak takde bestfriend, but i took a really hard time trying to understand them. standard la, baru dua tahun kenal kan. tp benda nh kdg2 mengganggu pelajaran ak tau. mcm last sem, gaduh ngn org tuh, pastu org nh terasa dgn ak, org lain tak puas hati dgn ak. kalau ikut perangai sebenar ak, mmg ak ignore jek benda yg jd. tp bak kate encik rota: syg nak lepaskan friendship nh. and i thank God sbb ade sorg dua membe uitm ak pn pikir benda yg same. thanks guys. tp honestly la ckp, ak smpy skang ade terasa dgn sorg dua membe ak nh. mmg la kisah dulu2, but the pain caused is so d*mn hard to forget. end up ak dh mula tak rapat dgn mereka2 nh. maybe it's better this way. ungku pn ckp, baik kita kwn bese2 jek dgn semua org, tak rapat sgt. and i found it to be the best way. still, i love u, my friends :)

6) bragging

okay, dgn sejujur-jujurnya ak ckp, i can't stand people who brag. tak kiralah kau main2 or kau betul2 mean it. ak mmg betul2 tak boleh tolerate. cmnh la, meh ak bg certain situations.

a) kwn kau tunjuk test marks dia 14.25/15 dkt kau yg dpt 11.75/15, then dia ckp "ala, sikitnye ak dpt!"

b) kau mntk membe kau teman beli hadiah birthday bf kau, and bila kau beli benda yg dia cadangkan [which is out of common courtesy], dia ckp "tgk, sape punye idea? ak jugak." siap dgn muka riak tak boleh belah (this situation also applies when kau nak beli purse baru and kau beli the one yg die cadangkan).

c) kwn kau puji boyfie dia melambung-lambung "rmai org yg nak kat die tp ak yg dpt" mcm la org lain takde boyfriend yg sehandsome boyfriend dia and mcm la takde org lain secantik kwn kau tu.

syg2, bragging nh tak elok tau. mmglah sometimes u do it sbb kau low self-esteem and u just wanna gain more confidence, tp kena ingt, sometimes it could bring people down too. okay, benda nh sgt general, and kdg2 ak pun tak sedar ak ade terbuat benda nh, so nh teguran bersama okey. :)

sekali lagi, mintak maaf sgt2 kalau ade yg terasa. tegur sbb syg ye. :)