shitz happen.

kene marah ngn madam noy ptg td.

sbb ak salu dok borak kelas die. :D

it's okay neways,

i know it's my fault.

tp anda2 yg berkenaan,

please please please jgn dok mengata aku

and more over, kawan ak, kat blakang.

yah, i'm talking bout sai.

kenapa, korg tnye?

cuz, it's our g*ddamned problem,

u guys xyh msok campur.

and. kne marah ngn lecturer xbrmaksud ktorg loser.

wait and see okay. :)

and sai, plz ignore those kind of people.

heck, we're happy on our own right?;)

malam.

blanje budak2 nih big apple. :)

tercapai gak niat ak.

ade ungku,cuna,kye,ayai,aizad,zu,naim,sai.

boleh pulak zu lupe amek donat die.

esok bwk la,

boleh bagi farid ngn die skalik. :)

patu karok sejam kt hotel.

cm bengang sbb something,

tp dh ok dh...:)

lame dh xlpak cmth.

hari lain nak blanje yen, atia ngn pain pulak.

i hope friendship do stay forever.

nyte people. ;)

grinning like a cheshire cat. :D

okay, first things first.

smlm mlm, pegi cucuk dwet kt 7-e.

ak nk tgk rm50 yg papa bg dh msok ke blum,

sbb nk byr utang ungku.

*waiting waiting*

*balance enquiry*

baki di dlm akaun anda ialah RM3,253.60.

oh, ok.

--then

WTF!!!!!!

omg, tkejut gle dwet dh msok! lolololol~

kuakn rm50, bg ungku rm35,

then went to the pkns.

(mangit nk bli rejected crocs).

alas!

ble dh smpy sne, the booth was already gone...

damn.

balik dr pkns, ktowg jln kaki.

(nk kurus. lol)

otw singgah bank islam,

withdrawed some money.

so plan pnye plan,

cadang la nk ke ts today.

too bad zt ngn sai xdpt ikut.

so, to generalize everything,

i shopped for a pair of red *rejected* crocs,

a dress that's too small for my boobs

and two baby milo shirt.

damn it was fun.

first time all-out kuakn dwet.

tp ade brthn gak td,

tu yg xbeli beg seketul tu. :D

overall, i'm happy.

for a year and a month since we're together,

last2 dpt jugak belikan awk something.

jage lelok tau crocs tu. :)

re-budget.

forgot nk re-budget.

so here's what it is.

duit = RM3,200.

mama+papa= RM1,000.

ak+ungku=RM50.

baju=RM50.

big apple=RM25+-

*cuna kye arifudin sai farid naim yen ayai aizad ungku*

pizza for home=RM40+-

haircut=RM20+-

lelem's=RM30+-

beg(bakal beli)=RM25+-

so overall money left=RM1,800+-

boleh la kot nk survive. :D

jumble tumble

1) wimax mmg vavi fukimak.

potong line jz becuz lmbt byr bil.

cm org gile ak nk online

smpy kne brambus g mcd, hakim segale. argh!

2) ak jatuh [crush in english] dgn due owg kt fac edu skang.

> lelaki yg kelas ctu sme ngn ak tu.

> the geek-cullen guy.

tp kalo xnmpk mke dowg, ak lpe la sal crush nh.

tp ble jmpe, excited gle!

patu gosip2 ngn sai. haha

kau org, ak nk berkenalan buleh? :DDDD

3) kne g mcd sbb nk study syntax.

tp cm bakal xblaja jek. lol~

ungku ngn atia, humor me plz. :D

dunno why but this is what i feel right now.

my thoughts are random.

somehow i think it's important for me to jot these down.

1) i can't wait for 23hb.

hope dwet masuk cpt sedikit dr tarikh itu.

*hoping hoping*

2) ironic isn't it,

when the person you're always so fond of ended up being the one who annoy you the most,

and a person you always thought as an annoying creature might just be the one to help you out in a difficult situation.

i learnt it, the hard way.

for the former, i think i'll walk away from them.

the latter, i apologize somehow, for thinking badly of you.

moral of the story, fikirlah sendirik. :D

3) you.

for about a year we've been together,

i've never realized how good-looking you are.

*i think i'll ignore your fatty belly in this post. :D*

and now i'm melting.

i miss you.

i want you so much right now.

i want to be the best for you.

i hope that look in your eyes will always be meant just for me.

*can i be yours forever? baby just say yes.*

:) :-* ;) :">

:)

thank God dah betul2 baik demam...

hmm. okay, i cant quite remember when did the fun start yesterday,

but i think these are some of the important points.

1) jumpe biah. ngeeeee~ :)

kat barra. ade ungku skalik.

i miss talking to her, and hear her rambling

similar to the speed of a motorcycle engine :D

*kiddink kiddink*

btw, cm sedih tgk die.

sbb die xseronok duduk upsi.

sabar ye biah, i am always with you.:)

mlm tu ingt nk g i-city.

sekali boleh hujan pulak tetibe.

last2 biah ngn akak die halau ak balik,

sbb takut ak demam lagi. hehe

xpe2. no offense la.

still, i love you! :)

2) overnight kt mcD.

the original plan was for me, sai ngn arifuddin.

skalik dtg2 ade yo ngn shah ngn ariff.

*education kids in case u're curious*

oh, and forgot to mention,

name sebenar yo sgt sedap okeh!

rase cm nk amek ltak kt anak ak nnt. :D

but then xpela, ak dtg pun ntok buat pelt report snanye.

but it proved much more difficult to do

when there's a mega chatterbox clinging to u. :D

time tu xbyk lpak dgn ungku pon.

sbb die ckp die xley fokus ak dok kacau2 die.

so ak majok la (poyo! haha).

then around 4 a.m. kot,

segerombolan membe2 ungku dtg.

ipe, alep, mohsin ngn sape ek lg sowg...

lg la ak xnk kacau.

so i took the time to finish my report.

managed siapkan 6 page jek pon. erkk~

so, 2 more to go!

oh btw, smpt snap2 pic kt webcam ungku smlm.

and ak sgt ske gmba nh. hehe

i love you too star candy! :p

oh, as for today,

sdare mare ak bkal dtg shah alam..

krenye cm girls day out la. lol!

ade kak niza, kak abon, ngn chu-r.

kamon2, cant wait! :)

stress

this week is very exhausting.

and i added it with overnights = less sleep.

my eyes are practically bagged and black-ringed.

sooo like a panda. pfft.

not to mention yesterday.

after class i had to stay at the fac,

until 4pm for today's project thingy.

waited for the bus for like two effing hours,

and when i finally got to walk home,

it was a rain disaster.

i went into the house, soaking wet,

and rushed to my room.

what i had in my mind at that time,

i need to wash my clothes as i had nothing to wear to meet my darl that night.

alas! somebody else was using the machine.

while waiting, i dozed off, waking up now and then.

but i just didn't have the energy to really wake up...

10pm. i called him and said that we couldn't meet.

i feel like crying.

imagine cannot meeting ur love jz cuz u don't have a single shirt to wear!

sucks, right?

but i still felt a littlest bit of happiness - why?

cuz at least i xsusahkn die.

die penah ckp...

8-10 pm is his study time actually.

and die bru2 nh xckup tdo sbb dok lyn ak yg tah pape nh (these are my words, not his).

ak happy sgt sbb brjaye xjmpe die sehari.

will try harder next time, promise...:)

.....

....

after that i dozed off again, and woke up at 4.

i quickly turned on the washing machine and do whatever necessary.

then, preparing for today's project etc. etc.,

and went straight to the fac.

today was a total blast!

nothing can bring me down today...

except that dear friend and this totally fucked up headache.

i feel like my head is going to explode.

about that particular friend,

i've decided to ignore him/her (dunno what it is actually).

i feel like saying "whataya want from me?!" to that friend,

but after careful thinking,

why bother?:)

*forget those for a while, this is my lil' bro. :)*

and about this headache,

it was something i never experienced for quite some time.

maybe i cannot endure this stress and busy-ness anymore.

maybe i need a rest...

oh, and yeah, i never bothered to tell anyone.

after all, i got this headaches all the time.

nothing unusual.:)

so tonight's plan is *pajama party!* kat bilik artiah,

and tomorrow morn kne setelkn ptptn thingy nh.

gosh, actually xprepare pape pon! :(

tu jek kot.

laterrr.:)

when you think that your life is the worst.

all this while i whined a lot about having a bz month.

what with the assignments, problems and all.

but when i got home this afternoon,

it changed my view.

see, my papa, he works at a tyre-manufacturing factory.

die pegi keje everyday, pukul6 pg.

td die habis keje pukul 3, then die terus amek ak kt sini.

(it's for the ptptn thingy).

smpy umh, xsmpt nk duduk ke ape,

terus pergi cek borang2 tu.

scan and print pape yg ptot.

then he said casually:

"dowg (bos die) suro ak msok (keje) pukul 7 ni."

ak ternganga kot. krenye papa kne kerje 2x.

at 5 pm i fell asleep (tuala pn xsmpt bukak).

around 8.15 i woke up and found my daddy gone (means dh gi keje la).

then td pkul11 stgh die blek umh,

terus anta ak blek shah alam.

sumpah touching sial.

ak yg bru kelas dr 10.30 am - 7pm dh mbebel2 cm org gile,

bpk ak yg bz dr 6am-12am, xkecoh pun.

iskk...

saya sayang papa saya.

dan mama juge.

*ak rse ak org plg brtuah dlm dunia sbb ade most reliable parents.:')*

a note for you

dear friend,

if u have any problems,

plz tell me straight,instead of waiting for me to ask.

friendship doesn't go that way,dear.

i'm not God,who knows what u feel or think.

i am also not very nice as to cater to u all the time.

if u think so,

doesn't that make u dependent on me,too?

and dear friend,

i understand that u tell me to change.

thank u so much for being such a good friend.:')

but,dear,

i personally feel *plz jgn ckp ak ske crik slh org lg*

that in friendship,fairness is essential.

dlm kes nh,i know my faults are bigger n way more than yours.

but i would really appreciate it if u admit yours,too,and apologize.

everybody makes mistakes,kn.

so kne fair and square la.

things may have look settled,

but,sorry to say,i stil feel some dissatisfaction.

mcm,asal ak jek kne admit slh ak?

slh kowg?ak kne diamkn..nnt kne cop ske pangkah org pulak.

hmmm.sorry la.

u can say i'm egoistic,or ske crik slh org.

but plz,step into my shoes for a minute.

and another thing,dear friend,

if u talk to me about accepting,

i beg u to realize this.

there are some features in me that i can't change.

for example,

i do not know how to expose my affection to u.

how much i care for u.

or the fact that i cannot always be nice.

that i sometimes feel anger,or annoyance,too.

i just beg u this.

plz accept these two facts about me.

1)that i do not know how to show how much i cared,

2)that i am just a human being.

*sorry if sape2 sentap.i've tried to make this as soft as possible.*

to my special someone...

*motif la kn nk censor name ungku gak.haha*

i want to thank you.

u made me realize my flaws and change it for the better.

but what's most important is,

you accept the fact that u too have flaws,and apologized.

and instead of just agreeing with all of the things that ppl said to me,

u agreed that they too ought to realize their mistakes.

sye sgt terharu aw.

tula yg sye carik slame nh dlm friendship.

FAIRNESS.

thanx for being a good friend.

it means so much to me.:')

and one thing i never bother to tell my dear friends is

i am physically and emotionally unwell.

i woke up this morning and my stomach felt bloated.

i feel like throwing up,even as i am writing this.

my eyes are all puffy and my eye-ring is darker than ever.

i think my biological clock needs to be repaired.:D

yela,mkn tgh2 mlm.tdo xsah kalo xlpas subuh.

sblm tdo wjib nangis dlu pulak tu.

dh 3-4 ari idup ak gini.huhu.

as to why i'm not bothered to tell u,

1)it's such a small matter.

2)i don't feel the need.after all,u guys suwo i jd independent kn?

again,i'm so sorry.

i deeply feel guilty to those whom i hurt,intentionally or unintentionally.

i apologize.

thank you for your care.

i love u,friends.:)