Saturday, October 29, 2011

can we just pretend?

Boi said that this place is a corrupted place. indeed it is. can't you see? here, people always talk bad things behind people's back, people are always being hypocrites, people lie to people... it is sickening. it makes me nauseated a bit.

i have always loved people. i love my friends. i love to say nice things, but true, to them. i want to be nice but i don't want to be fake. i want to be able to carve a smile, a sincere one, on my face; and i want to spread the smile to people. maybe that is why, recently, i love to hang out at the TESL Square. maybe that is why i, suddenly, want to join the faculty's events. truly random - something that is not me. but maybe i am wrong. maybe, all this while i only act like a badass, when actually i really want to join them. who knows? i might be wrong about myself this whole time.

back to the word "corrupted". maybe that is the reason why i can never stay here in Shah Alam for more than a month. people get kinda snappy, and there are always people that we need to impress. so sickening, so tiring. i feel like a fish who has choked on some toxic waste. i need to go home, once in a while, to clean myself off these negativities, these wastes.

and i... i kinda feel tired of always listening to people talking bad things about other people. i know, i am not a saint, i am also guilty as charged. but it does not help, right? it is like when you want to change, people around you keep doing the thing you want to change. all that is left with you is your will power, which is never strong enough to stand in the crowd.

i am searching for someone new to talk to. preferably someone who does not know about my problems, someone who does not know how to speak badly about someone, someone who i can sit with and just say trivial nice things about "what a nice day, right?" or just talk about funny little things like "hey, the cat has a mole on its paw!" or something like that. just things that are, you know, not negative. just those little things that can make you smile.

so, to my friends. can we just pretend that we have only known each other? hai, saya Atiqah. orang sini panggil Po. hehe. awak comel lah. :)

Friday, October 28, 2011

si dia demam

*gesel2 kepala kat bahu*

"awak memang manja eh masa demam?"

*angguk, muka sedih*

"dengan mak ayah pun awak manja macam ni?"

*angguk, muka sedih*


sumpah adorable.
i fell in love, again. :')

Sunday, October 23, 2011

life as we know it

ahhhh. it's been quite a while since i've updated my blog, ain't it?
some things happened during last week.
and may i think, it is only the tip of the iceberg?
i get a feeling more events/things are coming up. T_T

1) Mister Spatula Ungu suffered from a disease.

Half of its screen was covered with a white light, I can't see what the hell was I clicking. After restarting it several times, I had to admit that he was sick and I had to send it to the doctor. You know how expensive laptop medicines are, right? So, RM350 flown away, but I don't care. At least Mister Spatula is back to normal. Yeayyyyy *hugs*

can you see the light?

2) Educational trips.

It may sound fancy to ya, but lemme add, they were as tiring as ever. I had these trips every day of the week, kot! Selasa, went to watch zapin performance at UM. They danced so gracefully, I kinda adored them. However, the management sucked ass so much that the experience was quite a bitter one. Next, we went to NSTP at Bangsar to have a little literature discussion with people there. It would have been fun if that room wasn't bergema and if we had read Murakami. And on Thursday, we watched the experimental drama organized by AD. It was superb. More theatres like that should be introduced in Malaysia! :)

scary Bill Curtis.

3) Emotional downfall.

Maybe it's just me having my cute little PMS. I got emotional with many people. *sigh* It's bad, right? That's why I have to go home, relax, and avoid seeing these faces for a while. I can never stand UiTM Shah Alam more than a month. It makes me snappy and fragile and spiteful. T___T
Despite that, I still miss my friends. Even though I've only been away for less than 24 hours. :D

so, how to end this? ahhhh, scratch that.

Sunday, October 16, 2011


when i first get to know someone, 
the first thing i'd observe would be his/her eyes.
but only on the second or third encounter, 
because on the first i would be so shy to even look at his/her face.
and no matter what colour their eyes are,
black, brown, hazel, blue, or green - 
i've always found their eyes as pretty.

don't you think so?
the lens.
it has a mirror-like layer, but if you look deeper,
you can almost feel like you're diving into a sea of colours.

so don't panic if i stare at your eyes for a little bit too long.
i'm taking a swim. :D

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

secrets #2

i love keeping them to myself.
i feel like people are trying to unravel me and my tangled thoughts.
it feels good. :)

i have no more crush at the moment.
told ya it was just a PMS thingy. -.-"
but earlier this afternoon, i saw him.
and he made that cute face, again - almost melting.
i don't think he has any idea that i kinda like him. :D

i love it when i don't know anything about my crushes.
but i don't have any at the moment.

assignments are piling (is that a secret?).

i am actually suppressing guilt.
i've made mistakes to some people.
i wish i have the courage to say sorry.
i wish i mean it when i say it.

kinda sad but happy.
kinda happy but stressed.
kinda annoyed but worried.
kinda stressed but still smiling.

complicated? that is an understatement.


Saturday, October 8, 2011

span's friendship

1) i totally hate friends-for-benefit. do not think i cannot spot you yang suka kawan dengan seseorang just because orang tu ada kereta. stop messing with my friends.

2) here in Shah Alam, many are oblivious to their friends' feelings. i seriously hope i'm not.

3) most of the time, you have to figure people out just to please them.

4) here, you cannot talk in-depth about something because everyone is busy ogling with their smartphones.

p/s: stop sentap bila your friend tetiba tak rapat dgn you.
jangan fikir yg i dah rampas kawan you.
masa kawan you susah, nak pergi memana kena naik bas/taxi,
sanggup tak you tolong teman?
i sanggup.

Thursday, October 6, 2011


kan dah agak.
mesti ada orang yang membebel,

kenapa awok lepak rumah lelaki?
sampai tengah malam pulak tu!
bla bla bla.

saya takkan kata apa yg saya buat ni betul.
but for me, it's not wrong either.
saya selesa dgn kengkawan saya yg 'itu'.

nak meddle dalam hidup saya? tak kisah.
just please, jangan halang saya buat anything.
saya boleh fikir baik buruk. :)