depression has always been connected with being emo. you know what emo is? the kind of feelings when you see EVERYTHING as negative. shouting at people is a way to express anger and frustration. when carving your arms with a knife, and suicidal notions look tempting and delicious.
okay, i'm not going to focus on the 'hurting yourself' part. i'm just going to say something about shouting at people.
you know, honey, sometimes people might not realize that you're having a problem or you're mad and sad and frustrated and all. not if you don't open up to them. sometimes people are also just trying to be nice. that's why they ask you what your problems are and if they could be some help. some even just said hi to you nicely.
then, what makes you feel that it's okay to utter rude remarks to them, shout at them? and when you feel like it's okay, you just revert to your old self and never apologise. sweetie, we're not your rag dolls to be thrown around when you're mad and hugged when you're happy. we, too, have feelings. we, too, are sometimes depressed. it's just that we choose not to be emo. :P
if you feel like you've done something like this, apologising won't hurt you one bit, okay? i once done this - i was talking to a friend of mine about my problems and suddenly another friend came and ask a question. i got mad cuz he kept asking and i just shout to him "WHAT DO YOU WANT?!" and the shock on his face made me feel so g*ddamned guilty that i apologised right on the spot. still, just apologising won't heal the shock you get when you're being shouted at, quite suddenly. so i treated him to a lil' Big Apple doughnut to show how i really meant it.
though it happened a year ago, it was still fresh in my mind and i started to curse my bad mouth every time i remembered that incident. T___T
and another thing, dear, just open up whenever you want to. maybe you think that other people have their own problems, but hey, i'm not like that. so just tell me anything you want to tell, okay? as long as you can release your negative feelings and back to the happy you. :)
i love you. jgn emo-emo ye. ;)