a best friend you never knew you had.

first of all, it's a HE.

• whenever i feel sad, he'll come by and do stupid jokes to make me feel annoyed.
• he never really minds every time i told him to do stupid things together. mcm "jom pegi BB! naik moto!"
• when i didn't have any transport to go home with, he will always be the one who'd ask "kau ok tak?" *that is kalau girlfriends aku takde kat situlah.
• he always help me with everything. hantar balik rumah especially.
• he called me 'budak' and i always felt that as a sign of affection.
• and then there's this one time when i asked him to join me in doing something he REALLY don't wanna do. at last he agreed. and why? cuz he said it's "for the sake of my best friend".

mana lagi nak jumpa kawan mcm tu?

tp kesian, pilihan hati dia selalu org pelik2. :D

have you ever felt like you want to do something SO MUCH until your heart jumped every time something reminds you of it?

and then suddenly, petty reasons prevent you from doing it.

takde membe. takde transport.

but you know deep in your heart, if you can't excel in it, you will at least feel satisfied enough.

nak buat ke taknak?

p/s: aku sedih sebenarnya sbb kena jalan sorg2 dr perindu balik rumah. mcm org takde bf. :(

i want internal peace!

aku rindu nak baca al-Quran.

dlm hectic2 minggu belajar nh, al-Quran jela yg boleh menenangkan. kita boleh sentiasa percaya dgn ayat Quran. there's never anything wrong with the Holy Book kan? :)

minggu ini sgt memenatkan.

klang dan shah alam.

they're close in distance but very far away in definition.

for i will ALWAYS say that klang is d*mn better than shah alam! :D

mula2 ingat taknak balik.

sekali mama ingatkan psl birthday abg.

jd aku terus melompat kemas2 beg semua.

mmg tak rugi aku balik.

atas meja kat dapur dah ready dua entiti yg sgt heaven.

blueberry cheesecake and caramel pudding.

cheesecake tu mmg gila2 vavi pnya besar.

harga sekilo? RM26.

menganga aku tak percaya. huhu.

so, both cake and pudding were finished in a day.

hari sabtu pulak kitorg pegi rumah baru.

kemas2 and tido sana.

mula2 takutlah jugak sbb bilik aku takde langsir.

tp letak je kepala terus lena and bangun lmbt hari nh. :D

masa papa hantar balik, die suruh beli KFC dulu sbb takut aku lapar.

so here i am now, kat shah alam yg mnyerabutkan nh. huhu.

p/s: ungku's coming this wednesday. i seriously can't wait!

p/s/s: td beli topup RM5. aku bg RM10 dan akak tu pulangkan RM45. menonong rupanya akak tu. kesian.

sun sun sun sun sun sun shine~

it's about time, time to sunshine~ (Annoying Orange, 2010)

what am i so sunny about?

harusla melepak dgn kanak2 kecil ini. :)

and thanks for the karoks session. mmg hot!

and to you:

i'm so sorry for always making plans without telling you first.

i'll change.

for you i will.

*too tired to elaborate. goodnight :)*

i prefer to be immature if i were to end up like this.

perasan tak, bila kita makin besar, kita makin kurang gelak.

dulu time kecik2, tengok org misai tebal pun kita gelak.

tengok iklan pun tergelak.

tengok bugs bunny ketuk kepala daffy duck apetah lagi.

skarang?

aku taknak menghabiskan usia tua aku dgn berwajah sebegini.

tp nak taknak, sekarang aku cpt sgt boring.

dgr lagu baru 2, 3 kali, dah delete dr laptop.

muka di waktu pagi, sila rujuk gambar diatas.

muka di dalam kelas, rujuk gambar.

muka time chatting, rujuk gambar.

dan muka squidward aku mmg sgt2 annoying.

aku rasa mcm nak lempang diri sendiri.

jadi, ini sbg motivation supaya aku slalu senyum.

aku prefer org cop aku as budak2, slalu gelak takde reason.

macam ni boleh?

sila abaikan pose bajet itu. fokus pada senyumanku je okeh.

smile people! xoxo

tiga hari mencari lesen P.

setelah satu hari yg sgt2 happy dgn ungku,

aku pulang ke rumah.

sabtu and ahad ada kelas driving.

bpk blur aku, baru sedar test jpj HARI NI.

house is such a mess!

dh byk pindahkan barang ke rumah baru.

result: lelipas yg selama nh tersorok blkg almari dah mula berkeliaran.

tambah lg dgn waktu hujan.

papa pulak sdg busy menjahit langsir - jgn tak tau, bapak aku reti menjahit.

dan dia menjahit langsir utk satu rumah.

aku dgn mama aku tukang tengok je kat tepi.

tu pun kadang2 bukan tgk langsir, tp tengok tv besar.

oleh sbb byk brg dah takde,

baju2 aku pun byk la yg kena recycle kt rumah tu.

ckp psl test driving pulak,

baru semalam uncle tu suruh aku drive atas jalan raya ikut route test nnt.

apakah -_____-

so mmg bersepah2 la kesalahan aku.

lambat tukar gear, lambat bg signal, tak reti control steering...

kat track aku dah ok dah.

dan pada hari neraka ini....

nak teka result aku?

aku lulus test kat jalan raya tp fail kat litar.

mmg mcm bodoh.

tp happy la jugak sbb pakcik tester tu bg can.

enjin 2x mati dpn roundabout tp dia tak fail-kan pun.

and time aku nak testing tu la berbondong-bondong kambing dan anjing yg nak melintas jalan.

aku mmg penarik perhatian haiwan agaknye.

jadi, syukur Alhamdulillah :)

oh ya, nak repeat kena byr lg RM120. -___-

nota kaki: tak puas hati bila tgk pegawai2 tu suruh pakcik2 skula memandu tu belikan air utk dorg. siap ckp "dh pukul 11 nh! mana air?"

adoyai. habis apa purpose suruh kitorg berbudi-bahasa dgn memberi salam kat korg?

nota ibu jari kaki: punyalah tiga hari aku bertahan tak online kat rumah sbb takde cable, sekali td trjumpa cable tu bwh kerusi dlm bilik mak aku.

nota jari kaki paling last: oh ya! tiga hari jugak aku bertahan takde charger. ungku dah sedih2 dah tak dpt msg. sob sob.

leave the past, live the present, and love the future.

kesat? oh, where do i begin!

first off, kena rushing.

kelas habis pukul 4, kesat pukul 5. what the fun??

tak sempat nak semayang asar.

pukul 4 balik terus pegi cc nak print slip course registration.

and time2 genting mcm nh, student portal buat hal.

sgt vavi.

second off, kena jerit2 dgn komander.

aku mmg tak suka org marah2 takde sebab.

tak kisahla kau komander ke pegawai ke org tua ke.

lagi2 kalau perempuan yg duk jerit2.

thirdly biasalah, kena berdiri lama2 and all those sh*t.

sebenarnya aku plg tak puas hati sbb attire baju kesat tuh.

rasa mcm aku dh jd doraemon yg pakai baju warna **** kat tgh2 org ramai.

kan penghinaan tuh!

__________________________

malam, around pukul 10.

naik 603 sbb nak tido bilik artiah. yeayyy.

cantik jugak bilik kau nh tia.

lagi2 pemandangan beg2 baju dan baldi baju kotor kau yg terletak di lokasi betul2 tepi pintu.

sejuk mata aku memandangnya.

__________________________

hari nh pulak pegi jumpa kekasih hati dekat KL.

rasa bangga sekejap dpt pegi KL sentral sorg2. LOL.

sgt penat dan sgt happy.

dpt gelang baru and kasut baru. heheh.

tp yg paling penting dpt jumpa si gemuk kesayangan.

yeayyyy!

hey sexayyyy. :D

_______________________________

esok pulak ada kelas driving. pukul 2.

hari ahad jugak.

test driving saya hari isnin nh.

gila tak gila.

doakanla ye! :D

saja capap kat sini. :D

the real life.

ok cukup2 lah dgn entry yg penuh fefeeling perasan kat bawah nh. saja je nak menghiburkan hati. otak aku punya la serabut skang nh. rasa mcm nk ponteng segala kelas dan pergi melawat cik izzati rusli atau cik faiqa atau cik nabilah amir.

biasalah, kita selalu rasa problem kita lg besar dr org lain. mcm aku lah contohnya, kalau mcm member buat hal or kena marah dgn boyfriend or kena ignore dgn parents (parents aku TAK PERNAH ignore aku, ini contoh je ye), mesti aku rasa mcm i'm all alone in this world and rasa nak lompat bangunan. aku akan bertambah emo bila ada org dgn relax berkata "ala relax lah!"

bagi aku, itu bullshit dan cuba kau duduk dekat tempat aku. at least if nak suruh aku relax pun bagilah suggestion membina sikit mcm suruh aku semayang or suruh aku amek hati mak bapak.

okay, sekarang situation nh terjadi dekat somebody yg mmg aku syg. parents die marah2 die, member2 buat hal dgn die, awek die tak paham die and semua2 la smpy die rasa die sorg2 je dlm dunia nh. tapi kn syg, before kamu sedih dan marah cuba kamu fikir dulu; apa reason mereka act gitu kat anda snanye?

i'm not stating that all of this happened because of you, tp cuba pikir. maybe awek anda tgh penat. maybe parents anda nak anda berubah. maybe member2 anda terlupa. who knows? those reasons might sound petty and stupid, tp cuba letak diri kita kat situation dorg.

i'm sorry for not telling this directly to you. saya tau anda tgh sedih dan down, dan eventhough advice nh kedengaran berguna, it might not be applicable to some people.

jadi, biar saya yg buat semua kerja2 understanding nh. :)

lagi satu, oleh kerana ada beberapa kawan saya yg dh ada transport sendiri or byk duit, jgnlah kita jadi friends for benefit dgn mengharapkan kereta/motor mereka dpt ditumpang/dipinjam setiap masa or duit mereka boleh digunakan utk membelanja kita. Allah tak berkat kita2 yg berperangai mcm tu.

overall, dlm serabut2 nh, aku still rasa bersyukur dgn Tuhan. Dia dah mematangkan aku, dan Dia dah bagi dugaan kat aku. dugaan tu kan satu nikmat. it means Allah bg attention kat kita, sbb tu Dia duga kita. Dia tahu kita kuat, we will somehow get thru this.

maka ya Allah, kuatkanlah semangat aku nak bangun pagi dan pergi kelas. :D

pro dan kontra.

aku puasa hari ni.

tau tak kelebihan puasa?

1- kau boleh buat amal ibadah dgn lebih rajin sbb perut tak penuh.

2- kau rasa kurus.

3- kau rasa bangga, mcm "wow! aku boleh thn tak makan duduk kat shah alam nh!"

________________________________

semalam, or bila2 yg aku menumpang motor bebudak laki lain,

aku tataw pulak ungku jeles.

or maybe die jeles dgn sorg tu je sbb budak tu penah suka kt aku dulu.

reaksi aku bile ungku ckp mcm tu:

"ha? saya tataw pun die penah suka saya!"

pastu fefeeling perasan kejap. hahah.

taklah.

dgn jujurnya saya ingin bercakap,

saya ini buta pasal feeling org kt saya.

maybe sbb dkt maahad dulu dh belajar supaya kwl perasaan perasan.

sbb tu mula2 ungku mintak kapel, aku buat muka freak dkt die.

bila sorg lg mintak kapel, aku gelak sbb ingt die main2.

bila sorg lg ckp die boleh jd the best utk aku, aku pkir die buang tebiat.

bila sorg lg suka mnyakat aku, bkn pompuan lain, aku pikir maybe lah sbb aku nh kecil dan senang dibuli.

bila tau sbnrnya tu teknik dorg nak menekel,

aku terdiam...

rabun ke ape dorg nh?

and bila org ckp die suka aku sbb aku baik,

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WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! anda tak kenal saya.

saya wanita yg suka memaki.

saya wanita yg penah baling telur dpn rumah warden.

saya wanita yg penah conteng dinding smpy kena sound dgn cikgu disiplin.

saya wanita yg suka keluar malam.

saya wanita yg kuat makan. eh?

nah, pose paling ayu aku utk tatapan lelaki yg nk mngorat. ;)

p/s: gembira sbb dh ada ungku yg boleh terima saya gemuk2 cmane pun dan busuk2 cmane pun. :)

org Malaysia.

smlm overnight (no, that's not the right word) dekat KL.

with my worthy friends ayai and sai.

aku la yg buat cadangan gila, kenapa?

sbb aku rindu nak tengok gelagat Malaysian dkt KL.

some people who think that they are civilized enough just because they went clubbing and drinking.

mane tempat best nak tgk perangai manusia?

Bukit Bintang, tengah2 pagi buta.

takyah buat pape pun, kau just duduk je bersidai depan mcD besar tu,

and kau dh dpt nampak betapa rosaknya org2 zaman skang.

the drags, org2 menjual, org2 rumah urut, org2 mabuk...

rude people? that, is just the tip of the iceberg.

takat org potong queue kt mcD tu benda biasa.

masa kitorg lepak tepi mcD duduk2 tgkp gambar,

ada la some mat saleh yg mabuk2 lalu depan kitorg.

sorg nh tgh sorak2 about something and then he suddenly said,

"how bout Malaysia? wooohoooooooo!"

i don't care what that means,

tp dlm hati aku, ade rasa annoyed dgn negara sendiri.

annoyed pikir kenapalah Malaysia bukak byk2 club and pub.

foreigner tu mcm bg sorakan utk Malaysia sbb bnde2 mcm nh la.

skang, apa yg buat foreigner sebut

"Malaysia? oh, wonderful place!"

pikirlah sendiri.

lg yg tak boleh blah,

ade la sorg pompuan nh lalu tepi kitorg and ckp

"why are there so many f*ckin' malays around here?"

kau bygkan pompuan tu berani ckp mcm tuh.

which was actually weird sbb pompuan tu pun org melayu.

ade budak lain dgr and die ckp f*ck you kt pompuan tu.

and then gaduh mulut ensued.

syg,

just because kau ade pakwe n*gga yg berk*nek besar and kau org boleh minum2 dkt club mlm2,

it doesn't mean kau lg civilized or mulia dr kitorg.

mulia, my ass.

kau org balik pun naik teksi jugak, bkn lamborghini ke apa.

[ini stereotype aku, semua n*gga yg dtg Malaysia mst drive kereta power2].

membuatkan aku terfikir.

kenapa certain org Malaysia sgt memandang tinggi org2 negara luar.

if the whites are so noble,

the term 'white trash' wouldn't exist, no?

enough thinking, it's time for adoring us! :D

nasi lemak 7-eleven.

mcm org homeless dh. haha

kedai ape tah ktorg masuk nh.

ayai dan baked beans.

mcm pakai tunic je aku, hahah.

thanks sai ngn ayai, syg gila kt kau org! :)

people, sayangilah Malaysia.

kesatria ini.

sgt annoying and fun at the same time.

i hate sweating and tanning my skin!

but it's fun sbb ade kwn2 :)

masa mula2 dtg ade la kakak tu dok jerit2 ckp "cptlah! kau sakit kaki ke ape?!"

aku buat bodo je jalan selo2 eventhough die suruh lari.

mmg lah, yg kau dok marah2 tade sbb tu apehal. mcm gila talak aje. -____-

lagipun aku dh bese kena jerit2 kat maahad dulu.

dr form 1 time orientasi smpy la form 5 bila masuk kadet polis.

and aku tak suka kesat sbb nnt baju aku mesti pelik2!

mcm tadi.

aku sorg tudung itam baju itam.

dahla pakai crocs je. saiko betul.

and ak sgt tak suka pakai track suit.

mcm doremon gemuk jalan2 tengah padang.

balik tadi kitorg - aku, kye and sai - dr padang kawad smpy medan.

mmg exhausted gila.

and sai teman aku jalan sampai rumah,

so aku blanje die london strawberry roll satu.

thanks sai, you're the man ;D

senang cite, aku nak memandang positive benda nh.

kite sume dh matang kn, dh kena blaja disiplin2.

takkanla sbb komander garang kita terus tak suka kesat kn.

lgpun lame dh tak kawad, rindu zaman dolu2 :D

kem kor peringkat negeri. tu aku yg plg chubby tuh.

zaman kawad 2007. tgkla betapa gelapnya muka aku. -_____-

apa, tak percaya? :D

so let's kill this sucker baby!

to encik ungku,

as strong as i am right now, life is just not the same without you. who am i to go find another to accompany me, when all have their own lives?

i miss my old life; where i got you right where i want you. where i don't have to stare at my ultraman jibbit you bought for me to reminisce our memories (the truth is, i see you in everything i see), where i don't have to hear the script's song which instantly reminds me of you (and the truth is, i will remember you in every song i hear), where i don't have to shy away from your numerous friends; cuz i'll know you were always beside me the whole time.

i won't cry - cuz i'll know the situation will end up with me consoling you; you're the one who'll end up crying. heheh.

i just wanna pray hard that you can continue your studies, be it uitm or anywhere else. distance doesn't matter anymore for me, i just wanna see you rise and excel.

i promise i won't cry! *ikat kelenjar air mata*