Thursday, May 31, 2012

self-motivation

I have been completing my assignment at the eleventh hour since forever. I am always satisfied, proud even, with myself for submitting the assignments on time - no need to skip several classes just to finish them. However, only after six freaking semesters do I realize that my pointer stays constantly at that level, even going lower at the fifth semester.

I always dislike 'kalut' people. People who struggle to get things done days before the deadline. I always laugh quietly at them for being so 'skema'. Well, when it is results day, guess who is laughing? You are a big loser, Atiqah. -.-"

Truly, honestly, I have always envied AJ, Kei, etc. for maintaining their 3.7-3.8 CGPA every semester. I have always envied Ain and Lin for being so organized in their work and so diligent. When I look at myself, I see none of that. No wonder my mama always said: "If you work harder, you would have gotten a 4.0." I used to think that that target is so far away (although it is) but now i realize, it is indeed possible.

So what is wrong with being 'skema'? What is wrong with being 'kalut' before it was cool? Just for once, Atiqah, finish your work early. Just try being a 'half-skema' for a semester. Let's test whether this will bring to good news or not. If it does not, you can always revert back to your last-minute self. In an attempt to be 'skema', I have listed down my assignments and their deadlines. Also, I have made a to-do list for this one-week holiday. It might seem a bit late to you, but it is never too late for changes, aye? :D

Now, the first assignment is done. I am reserving Thursday for the SLA term paper and for buying some stuff for the Literature creative project. Tomorrow only do I get to interview a teacher for MTW. Truly, this is tiring and I do not feel like this is a holiday at all, but hey, this is quite fun. I honestly think it is. It's like playing a trick on yourself, only for the better. I also want to change my self-perception and test my limits. So yeah, this is fun for me. :3

I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about my GPA target this semester, but I pray so hard that I'll manage to reach it. I am disqualified for that Anugerah Naib Canselor already, but who knows if I maintain my CGPA until the rest of the semester, something good might pop up. Pray for me, loves. Thank you. :')

Monday, May 28, 2012

pantun empat kerat tersirat.

Dia duduk keseorangan bawah pangkin.
Tersenyum tersipu malu.
Apa yang dia rasa; dia yakin:
Tak ada orang lain pun yang tahu.


Dia jumpa seseorang yang biasa.
Seseorang yang orang pandang sebelah mata.
Tapi tidak bagi dia - seseorang itu istimewa.
Dalam hati dia, telah duduk seorang dewa.


Dia tersenyum, bercampur rasa.
Alangkah bahagia rasanya cinta!
Tapi apa yang buat dia lebih gembira,
Tuhan saja tempat dia berkongsi rahsia.


Dalam hati, dia memasang janji.
'Wahai betara penghuni hati,
Jangan cari orang lain lagi - 
Kerana aku akan datang menghampiri.'


Tapi bahagia takkan pernah lama.
Seseorang kini ada yang disayang.
Tapi yang disayang bukanlah dia.
Dia bergelap - bintangnya hilang.


Tiga minggu memendam rasa,
Kini dia hadir majlis nikah seseorang.
Hatinya terhenti; retak sejuta.
Seseorang, sampai bila-bila tetap dia sayang.


Dia meratap, namun kesepian.
Cuba bayangkan apa kau rasa,
Jika dewa hati kemas kau simpan,
Dirampas orang begitu sahaja.