Thursday, March 29, 2012

#436 (2)

"aku takkan dapat lupakan dia. tapi aku dah suka orang lain."

aku terdengar bunyi hati aku pecah.
sebab 'dia' dan 'orang lain' - kedua-duanya bukan aku.

is this more than you bargained for yet?
oh, don't mind me - i'm watching you two from the closet,
wishing to be the friction in your jeans.
isn't it messed up - how i'm just dying to be him?


Hati: tiba-tiba aku terfikir, aku tak mahu dia lagi.

Minda: sejak bila kau reti berfikir? Tapi tahniah. keputusan kau, tepat sekali.

Hati: dua saat kemudian, rindu datang kembali.

Minda: aku dah agak. Ikut rasa binasa, ikut hati mati.

Hati: bila sehari tak pandang, aku rindu. Ingat lagu ni?

Minda: lagu cinta? Dalam situasi kita, tak boleh dipercayai.

Hati: aku marah dengan diri. Nak dapatkan dia? Mustahil sekali.

Minda: kadang aku terfikir, cubalah lagi. Tapi aku tahu aku tipu diri sendiri.

Hati: lihat dia seminit, satu hari aku senang hati.

Minda: ingat dia sesaat, satu hari dia berlegar dalam diri.

Hati: kalau dia tahu, itu dah cukup. Aku tak mahu memiliki.

Minda: kau kata lain. Apa yang kau rasa, berbeza tapi.

Hati: terima kasih kerana memahami.

Minda: mungkin dah sampai masa kita tarik diri. Aku tak nak kau sakit, hati.

Hati: minda, apa salahnya kita mencuba?

Minda: ikut rasa binasa, ikut hati mati. Ikut minda? Cubalah kalau terdaya.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

just in case we fight.

come to think of it, i've never written a tribute to our relationship. so here goes.

actually, we are no longer a couple. 
but rest assured, i still has much love for him as he has for me.
if people see him, they would no doubt feel he's very mediocre.
not much looks, no money either.
but he's good-looking enough for me, lovable enough for me.
enough that i never feel like searching for another.

i'm a Scorpio, a.k.a. one of the most hard-to-handle in the horoscope.
that's true, because i am always super cerewet and super sensitive.
i may blow up when you least expect it and i'm very good at annoying you.
yet it is a miracle that in these three years, he managed to still stay by my side.

i remember when he fell asleep and i was so goddamned angry because i was hungry.
i wrote many kinds of mean things about him on Twitter.
i met him at D.E. and left him just like that to follow my friends to somewhere else.
i blew up just because he was looking at somewhere else when i was talking.
i cried when he hung out with his friends; thinking i was no longer important to him.
there are many more incidents to prove that i can really be a total bitch.
amazingly, he is the only one who is able to put up with all that.

sure, we might fought more than we loved.
but at the end of the day, he would always be the one who came running, saying sorry.
what more do i want?
i wouldn't trade him for the whole world.

lately, we never even had a fight.
i found myself falling more and more in love with him.
true, he still makes mistakes. but i do, too.
he can still accept me after everything, so why shouldn't i do the same?
maybe it is time to say: i don't care about his flaws anymore.

although we were no longer in a relationship, that doesn't mean we were not in love.
thanks for these three years, my dear.
i will try my best to be your most reliable guardian angel.
though i may say i'm in love with a thousand people,
when the night comes i would still be running towards you.
because i'm wearing a shining armour and you are my magnet. :)

i love you.