Marriage -- it's a word that's supposed to be sweet, not to leave a sick aftertaste overpowering my throat.
Why are we pitying those women who are still not married -- even worse, pitying ourselves for not finding the right husband yet? What's with the 'bila nak kahwin' question? What's the necessity for making a list of friends who oughta get married? Why the envy towards friends who already have? What's with the #bercintaselepasnikahituindah or #kahwinmudabest hashtags?
I'm not even quarter of a century old, and I refuse to let people look at my gender as a reason to make marriage as my ultimate life goal. I have a lot of things to do in life, still. Shopping with mother. Walking in the park with my male best friend. Learning new things. Seeing new people. Talking shit with my girls. Knowing my boyfriend better (and if we do have a future together). Being a better human being. Appreciating the world. Heck -- being alone with myself. Self-reflecting on how far I've come.
I won't lie and say I'm not affected with women around me pitying themselves for not getting married yet, or women who are already married preaching and screeching for other women to follow suit. They make me insecure. Pressured. Frustrated. Feel like I don't have any control on myself and what I should be.
I want to be known more than just somebody's wife. I want to be a good daughter, an awesome friend, a strong believer, someone you would regret not to know. There's so much more stuff out there, still, waiting for a woman, like me and you.
Let us live the way every human being wants to live. Free.