Thursday, August 21, 2014

Used to.

I used to like the phrase "used to".

I used to think liking you is ponies and puppies.

I used to think my feelings were nothing short of magical.

I used to think love (or whatever this is) is rainbow after the rain.

I used to watch you from a distance just to save that glimmer in your eyes whenever you laugh securely in my brain.

I used to... be an optimist.

I won't say everything is falling apart now, because it's not. I'm not crying -- I'm far from feeling sad. But I look at you now and -- the magic is no longer there. I can not remember you for a few days straight and it doesn't hurt. I can read those hurtful messages you sometimes write to me because you're being moody and not be affected by them. I can not feel jealous whenever you hang out with other girls.

I won't say I don't like you anymore, because I still do. But the right word is just -- disenchanted. Maybe I'm starting to like you. For real. 

Love. What are the odds?