Current

I've always thought my worst fear was drowning.

As I slip and fall behind, life takes on a slow-motion stance. So serene, so peaceful. I can see the bright bondi blue sky and wonder what it would feel like to bump on the cotton-like clouds. Then, it fast forwards -- the images at the back of my head -- playing continuously and vividly I swear I could almost hear the sound of the rolling film.

I can see my mother and my father, laughing and encouraging me to keep walking forward with my two tiny feet. And my, am I eager to run into their arms and feel safe once again. I see Gran, frowning at me with her index finger pointed at the pile of Power Rangers figurines and some rust-coloured Playdohs. I see my best friend, talking about how difficult it was for her to lose someone so dear. I see you, staring at me on the aisle with your glossy eyes, as if you've never seen me wearing a dress your whole life.

And I wonder -- what next? Is this the end? I sure hope you won't cry over me. But I hope you won't ever forget me, either. Then plummet. To darkness.

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I've always thought my worst fear was drowning. I was wrong. It's uncertainty.