of wanting someone so much.

have you ever had this feeling?

when you saw the signboard and your thoughts automatically flew to him.

but your rationale cut it down.

"stop dreaming. it's just a coincidence."

but you couldn't stop thinking,

that maybe, JUST maybe,

he might be just a few metres away from you.

that when you stopped by a shop,

he might JUST be around the corner.

that when you're on the road, stuck in a traffic jam,

he might JUST be a few cars away from yours.

all because of that signboard showing the name of his place.

and your thoughts of him would increasingly grow.

so big you felt like your mind is leaving your body,

searching for anything regarding him.

and you started to wonder,

with thoughts this strong, does his heart feel it?

would he have a hunch, or just a tickle in his heart,

that someone is thinking of him?

and you'd think "meh. things like that only happen in love stories. fictions."

but in the tiniest place of your heart,

you pray that it is true,

although it only looks like a very very sweet dream.

things i learnt today

1) gorgeous miss Raihan Ibrahim has taught me about the time differences in the UK and Malaysia. also a big thanks to my one friend who initially asked about it. now i know a lot! complete with some knowledge about the Daylight Saving Time. and not to forget mr. Google for being so knowledgeable. hehe.

cik ean di sebelah kiri. : D

2) today i learnt another thing which i should be grateful of (ops, i think i should rephrase this, but whatever). it is that i have the bestest of the best mister ex-boyfie who is ALWAYS so caring of me. yesterday we talked over the phone, he cried just from remembering that one time i was left alone at Seksyen 19 and he had to pick me up. i felt so touched. he is so nice, i just forget about this because we were always fighting most of the time. even now, when we were no longer lovers. duhhhhh. i guess being separated means nothing for us, which is a good thing. : )

selalu rasa dia comel kalau sengih nampak gigi. hoho.

3) i guess i should follow what Kei wants to do too, that is, fasting in the month of Rejab! : ) looking at how lazy and procrastinating i am, i might not be able to fast for a whole 15 days. but i sure need to fast for at least two days (balance puasa ganti) and pay off those puasa nazar. insyaAllah. : )

konon insaf la ni. hahah

4) it might be a little too late to say this, but i got that KPM scholarship. alhamdulillah~ this shows how Allah always care about us even though we too often neglect Him - as in this case, me. this gift has made me learn more about being grateful and try a lot harder to become a good servant of His in this world. thank you for everything, Allah.

: )

repeated dreams

semalam mimpi kau lagi.

adeeeeeehhh.

dah apa jenis guna-guna kau bagi kat aku ni woi?

but like i said before,

repeated dreams of u means i'm missing you.

sheeeesh.

i wish i wasn't this 'sayur'.

terasa busuk dan hina je bila ego jatuh macam ni.

and terpaksa mengaku i'm head-over-heels for a guy.

lol.

i dreamt that you're saying

you have some free time and you'll visit me again.

i really treasure you, everything about you.

***************************

do you ever feel like you're lacking attention?

like you're always being the one who listens,

and not listened to.

it kinda hurts, i tried explaining this to him,

but he scolded me, saying that that's enough.

it's his time to get some attention.

i dunno, i tried so hard.

ironically, the one who ALWAYS listens to me

is the one whom i get mad with in the last semester.

i'm sorry, friend.

i shouldn't blame you on what you cannot change.

***************************

semalam makan ikan masin,

tulang dia terbenam dalam gusi.

IT. FREAKING. HURT.

boleh rasa bentuk tulang tu dalam gusi.

terus fobia kejap kat ikan masin. T____T

How to Cook: Sandwich and Asam Pedas

i cooked asam pedas today. yg sandwich tu pulak, minggu lepas kot?

Sandwich
the ingredients:
1 can of Ayam Brand's Mackerel (or Sardine if you prefer)
1 ketul bawang merah
1/2 a cucumber
1 biji limau nipis

How to make:
Mula-mula, bukak tin sardin tu and keluarkan semua tomato sauce dia.
then Chop, chop, chop it all. i mean the fish and other ingredients.
gaul bersama dlm satu mangkuk besar. then perah limau on the whole thing.
You can eat it with bread or just ratah mcm tu je. yummayh! and u can also put other stuffs such as butter and mayo.

Note: i deeply understand if you don't want to waste satu tin mackerel yg sekarang harga rm6.10 just to make a lame sandwich. but just in case tiba2 anda terngidam sandwich ke, bolehlah try.



Asam Pedas
some slices of ikan pari (or any other fish you prefer)
cili giling (suka hati, kalau nak pedas letaklah banyak)
1 ketul bawang merah
beberapa ulas bawang putih
air asam jawa/ asam keping (ni kena rasa sendiri!)
some okras
serai and halia (optional)
garam

How to cook:
Okay firstly, you chop kecik2 the bawang merah and bawang putih. kalau nak letak halia pun boleh, potong kecik2 jugak. and the serai, kalau nak letak ketuk jelah then just campak dlm periuk.
Goreng the bawangs sampai naik bau. yums : 9
letak cili giling. aku letak dua senduk sebab suka pedas-pedas tp tak pedas sgt.
Goreng the cili sampai ia kering.
Taruk air asam jawa. for those yg pakai asam keping, letaklah air berapa byk u nak kat cili tu.
Tunggu air menggelegak, then put those fish, man!
(oh, make sure ikan2 tu tenggelam dlm air. i dunno how to phrase this, but whatevs)
Letak garam secukup rasa.
Bila dah menggelegak lagi, and dah konfiden ikan2 tu dah masak, letak bendi.
Tunggu 5 minit. tutup api, pergi makan dgn nasi.

gudluck babes. : D

i'm so bored, thus the existence of this entry. mcm la takde org reti masak asam pedas and buat sandwich. : D

sedih tengok orang Melayu skang.

baru form 2 dah mengaku takde dara? sedih.

yang komen2 kat blog budak tu, duk maki2 bagai? lagi sedih.

aib org tutup la wei. bapak aku cakap : sedangkan aib sendiri pun kena tutup, inikan aib orang lain. ya, budak tu salah sbb canang kat satu dunia dia dah takde dara. pergi tulis dlm blog sampai ratus2 org komen. tp komen yg menasihat tu mmg minoriti lah. yg lain sume cakap muka sampah la apelah. kalau kau maki org, kau rasa org nak dengar ke nasihat kau? common sense lah.

for that 14 y.o. girl, saya doakan dia bertaubat. AT LEAST rasalah sedikit rasa bersalah. sebab aku baca, dosa yg lebih besar dari 6,000 kali berzina adalah "buat dosa tanpa rasa bersalah". takde dara bukan problem kecik dik. baru form 2. ada lagi berpuluh-puluh tahun nak tempuh hidup kat dunia ni. cemana nak tempuh kalau satu dunia tau aib kita?

dan mereka yang lain, dia budak lagi. belum kenal dunia, baik buruk . so tak payah maki sampai macam tu. apa rasa kalau family sanak-saudara sendiri buat macam tu? lagi satu, tak payah sebarlah link blog dia kat facebook bagai. sumpah mengaibkan. sedih gila tengok .

**************************************

aku rasa ramai dah tahu pasal cerita biasiswa. menteri mana entah mengamuk cakap biasiswa tu hanya untuk org melayu dan bumiputera. ya, ikut perlembagaan memang it's supposed to be that way. tapi aku rasa sebab banyak kelebihan pada org melayu la, kita jadi mcm kita yg sekarang ni. dekat uitm tu, cuba kau tengok macamana bebudak melayu belajar. ponteng kelas, esaimen tak hantar, mcm2 lagi. pastu baca tak pasal cerita budak dapat scholarship pegi oversea, tapi bukan belajar betul2 pun kat sana. duit scholarship buat beli gadget, barang2 branded. rugi weh rugi. tak kisah kalau kau nak spend, tapi beragak lah. scholarship tu duit mak bapak aku dan mak bapak kau yg bayar cukai tau tak . T___T

aku rasa scholarship tu kena bagi sama rata between bangsa. dgn syarat result gempak and furthermore budak tu hidup dia susah. barulah fair. ni yg senang dpt scholarship, anak2 org kaya, menteri2. tengok Bersamamu, bebudak sampai berhenti belajar sebab takde duit. bayangkanlah kalau dorang dapat scholarship macamana dorang treasure gila2 duit tu.

oleh itu, aku dan bebudak lain yg dapat scholarship tu, sebelum nak spend duit menggila babi, ingatlah muka mak ayah kita yang berpeluh-peluh sakit belakang kerja semata-mata nak bayar cukai. lagi satu, sebelum kita nak cakap kita deserve dapat scholarship, tunjuklah effort nak dapatkan scholarship tu. ada peluang, pergi apply sbb no one akan offer anda scholarship depan pintu rumah.

thank you. : )