self-motivation

I have been completing my assignment at the eleventh hour since forever. I am always satisfied, proud even, with myself for submitting the assignments on time - no need to skip several classes just to finish them. However, only after six freaking semesters do I realize that my pointer stays constantly at that level, even going lower at the fifth semester.

I always dislike 'kalut' people. People who struggle to get things done days before the deadline. I always laugh quietly at them for being so 'skema'. Well, when it is results day, guess who is laughing? You are a big loser, Atiqah. -.-"

Truly, honestly, I have always envied AJ, Kei, etc. for maintaining their 3.7-3.8 CGPA every semester. I have always envied Ain and Lin for being so organized in their work and so diligent. When I look at myself, I see none of that. No wonder my mama always said: "If you work harder, you would have gotten a 4.0." I used to think that that target is so far away (although it is) but now i realize, it is indeed possible.

So what is wrong with being 'skema'? What is wrong with being 'kalut' before it was cool? Just for once, Atiqah, finish your work early. Just try being a 'half-skema' for a semester. Let's test whether this will bring to good news or not. If it does not, you can always revert back to your last-minute self. In an attempt to be 'skema', I have listed down my assignments and their deadlines. Also, I have made a to-do list for this one-week holiday. It might seem a bit late to you, but it is never too late for changes, aye? :D

Now, the first assignment is done. I am reserving Thursday for the SLA term paper and for buying some stuff for the Literature creative project. Tomorrow only do I get to interview a teacher for MTW. Truly, this is tiring and I do not feel like this is a holiday at all, but hey, this is quite fun. I honestly think it is. It's like playing a trick on yourself, only for the better. I also want to change my self-perception and test my limits. So yeah, this is fun for me. :3

I am too embarrassed to tell anyone about my GPA target this semester, but I pray so hard that I'll manage to reach it. I am disqualified for that Anugerah Naib Canselor already, but who knows if I maintain my CGPA until the rest of the semester, something good might pop up. Pray for me, loves. Thank you. :')