The Fool's Whirlpool

Scream as you will and he’ll hug you tighter,

filling your lungs with warm specks of glacier.

Struggle as you want but you can’t fight nature

Of a maelstrom so intense he could break a lover.

A waterfall that soothes but calming never,

A tidal wave so strong he could spin fire.

You could send him a curse with every whisper

Or stab his heart with a shiny dagger.

You could banter, anger, flatter, or jeer,

Hoping he resides with a sorry whimper.

Sooner or later, however,

You’ll find it easier, even painfully better

to not escape this whirlpool forever.

***

Dedicated to everyone who're stuck with the same old poison.

*Foot note:
This poem was written for Englishjer's #HundredHundred exhibition at Cooler Lumpur, Publika, last week. It was also illustrated by a talented guy (Instagram: @mista_paeh). Thank you for the opportunity!

Free Minnie.

Marriage -- it's a word that's supposed to be sweet, not to leave a sick aftertaste overpowering my throat.

Why are we pitying those women who are still not married -- even worse, pitying ourselves for not finding the right husband yet? What's with the 'bila nak kahwin' question? What's the necessity for making a list of friends who oughta get married? Why the envy towards friends who already have? What's with the #bercintaselepasnikahituindah or #kahwinmudabest hashtags?

I'm not even quarter of a century old, and I refuse to let people look at my gender as a reason to make marriage as my ultimate life goal. I have a lot of things to do in life, still. Shopping with mother. Walking in the park with my male best friend. Learning new things. Seeing new people. Talking shit with my girls. Knowing my boyfriend better (and if we do have a future together). Being a better human being. Appreciating the world. Heck -- being alone with myself. Self-reflecting on how far I've come.

I won't lie and say I'm not affected with women around me pitying themselves for not getting married yet, or women who are already married preaching and screeching for other women to follow suit. They make me insecure. Pressured. Frustrated. Feel like I don't have any control on myself and what I should be.

I want to be known more than just somebody's wife. I want to be a good daughter, an awesome friend, a strong believer, someone you would regret not to know. There's so much more stuff out there, still, waiting for a woman, like me and you.

Let us live the way every human being wants to live. Free.

The Truth About Winning

"What's with you? Always with that blank stare and vacant smile," said David. 

Ro looked down from the sky, her smile unwashed by the snarky remark. "I'm just reacting to what I see."

"You're not seeing. You're dreaming." David laughed. 

"Aren't dreams good? Dreams are ideals. The best of the best." 

David smirked. "No. I always thought dreamers are losers, y'know? They don't fight for what they want. I mean, I would rather step out of the house, run for the things that matter most." 

"And what are those?" Ro asked, interested. 

"I don't know," David mumbled. "Prolly that girl I've known since kindie. Or that $1000 grand piano. Or my dream job." 

"Your dream job?" Ro giggled. "Then what differs between you and I?" 

"I strive for what I want. You just sit there and dream." 

Ro smiled again. So that's where we differ, she thought. My dreams are enough for me.