chaotic class | Part 1

the godd*mned noisy class automatically fell silent when he stepped in. it was as if the human population in the class of 2-D had totally gone extinct. but no, they still exist. just gaping and gawking at the guy.

how shall i describe the guy? he is tall, fair-colored. his face wore the expression of 'i don't give an effin' d*mn about cha, so you better get outta my way, low-life creature'. okay, i'm exaggerating there. but still, he kinda looked at you with only one eye, if you know what i mean.

his clothing. or should i call it, costume? the shiny top-hat. the white gloves. the red coat. maybe Mr. Stephen has called a magician to straighten us all up, cuz we are all mad in here.

"Hey. I'm your new Social teacher this year. Name's Chaos. Nice to meet cha." still, the i-don't-give-a-d*mn expression, with matching tone of voice.

"What f*cking kind of name is Chaos?!" Gerard suddenly shouted at the back. oh, I always hated him. his red hair, his unbuttoned uniform, purposely revealing the 'Kiss' T-shirt he wore inside. childish. not to mention, stupid jerk.

"You better go back to your circus, freakin' a*shole." he continued, followed with small laughs from his two friends, or better known as subordinates.

the next thing, six pigeons came out of nowhere and one by one, they pecked Gerard on his nose, like his nose was a sweet doughnut or something. his swearing and screams were definitely ignored by the new teacher, who slowly continued his interrupted self-introduction.

"First lesson, if you don't want to be treated like a d*ck, never interrupt."

tak best.

kenapa perempuan tu, ramai sgt laki suka kat dia eventhough perangai dia ****? mmg lelaki akan suka perempuan cantik je ke? and hari tu, aku tengok ramai laki duk puji dia segala kat facebook padahal bila aku tengok dia, aku rasa mcm tak cantik. ish, aku rabun kot?

aku tak jealous. sumpah. tapi benda ni selalu buat aku down. kekadang aku rasa aku jahat gila dgn perempuan tu. yalah, having such bad thoughts about her.

perempuan tu kawan aku. tapi entah, i have such a dislike on her.

*help me?

makcu saya baik orgnya.

petang kelmarin, makcu pergi meninggalkan kami.

kalau nak kata terkejut, semua org terkejut.

sgt tak sangka dia pergi tiba-tiba.

tapi in the end, semua org redha.

pemergiannya dipenuhi tangisan.

saya pun menangis, tapi saya tabahkan hati.

saya tak mahu seksa makcu dgn air mata saya.

rasa sayu sgt tengok makcu dikambus.

rasa sedih tengok anak makcu 5 org, plg kecil baru 5 tahun.

rasa sedih tengok mak lang, makbung, even papa menangis.

tapi,

makcu pergi dgn husnul khatimah.

makcu meninggal dlm telekung, masa tunggu waktu maghrib.

mayat makcu senyum.

ramai manusia dtg masa pengebumian makcu.

ramai bercerita psl makcu, tp semua yg baik2 je.

itu dah cukup buat saya happy dan redha.

all of us are going to miss her. :')

Al-Fatihah.

mindset

"kubur lain-lain."

aku just nak cakap, tolong jgn guna ayat ni depan aku.

ini menunjukkan betapa defensive-nya kau.

kenapa still nak buat benda yg kau dah tahu salah?

and by the way.

memanglah kubur kita lain-lain.

tapi boleh ke bila kau mati, kau korek lubang kubur sendiri?

boleh ke kau mandikan mayat kau sendiri?

ingat sikit, kat dunia ni kita akan sentiasa perlukan pertolongan org lain.

even nasihat pun.

sbb tu bila org nasihat, kau jgn bagi ayat tu.

~peace~

sampai hati kamu.

i intend to write something else tonight, but those three words keep appearing again and again in front of my eyes, hence the title. :'(

esok saya ada driving test. lagi. sgt nervous. oh please please please God, let me pass this time! i don't wanna waste anymore money my parents had gained. RM120 for every time re-test, whatta! :'O

everything around is a downer, lately. why, when i had helped you so much, you still think i'm not worthy enough to be mentioned as one of your close ones? ironically, i do feel the same way about you.

*please pray for me, everyone! *teary-eyed**

10th of December

hari ni tangan melecet pusing stereng. aku pusing track tu dr 7.15 am sampai 9.15 am. rasanya lebih 10 kali kot. -____-"'

pagi tadi bangun lambat - pukul 6.40 am. ni sume gara2 tetiba saiko takut duk bilik sengsorang. mulalah jenjalan keliling rumah tengok org tidur and bukak je lampu bilik. last2 tidur pukul 5 suku. ahha. pepagi ungku kesayangan dah call bagitau result -

and i got 3.54. ya, saya bersyukur sbb sem ni banyak sgt buat benda lagha dan sgt kurang belajar. sedikit not satisfied sbb mama suruh target 3.8++, but then, mama say congrats jugak tadi and suruh strive lg sem dpn. :)

then came the one-in-a-million question: "kau nak apa?"

wee melompat2 aku. eventhough tak sure mama akan bagi ke tak, aku cakap either a camera or a guitar. tp kalau tak dpt, it's okay mom! :)

tahniah anda2 yg lain sbb results ok! yg results kurang ok tu takpe, kita cuba lagi next sem ok? dan lagi dan lagi sampai kita graduate :)

malam ni ada pasar malam, yeay! perut aku berbunyi2 riang sbb tak makan dr pagi. kes malas masak. :D

*lama jugak tak update, sbb duduk rumah kak niza hari2 baca komik. sugoiii! :D

i remember

sebenarnya, hari ni saya mimpi kamu. bila mata celik je, saya baring diam2 atas katil, peluk patrick. saya pikir panjang2 apa yg dah jadi antara kita. time tu, mcm2 saya ingat.

saya still ingat macamana saya start observe awak. saya still ingat macamana kita boleh mula2 mesej. time tu, awak mesti dah dapat rasa saya suka awak kan?

awak tahu tak, betapa saya berusaha nak kenal awak. everytime mesej, saya akan perah otak supaya dapat cerita2 something dgn awak. bila saya suruh awak bukak cerita, awak akan sentiasa cakap "tak ada".

bila saya membebel panjang2 dlm mesej, betapa saya tahan sabar bila awak reply sepatah perkataan je, sama ada "em" atau "owh". bila saya bebel awak reply pendek2, awak sentiasa bagi smiley :P kat saya.

bila malam2, kita mesti gilir2 buat super saver. sekarang baru saya terfikir, kita tak pernah plan benda tu kan? dan awak call saya lagi banyak dari saya call awak. bila dah nak cakap bye, saya mesti akan cakap "thanks sbb call" sampai lama2 awak mengusik saya pasal benda tu.

saya still ingat awak pernah bagi mesej, pilih satu colour yg paling sesuai utk awak. dan saya jawab 'black', sbb awak mysterious,kan? bila saya tanya balik soalan tu kat awak, awak cakap saya sesuai colour oren, sbb cute. awak tau tak betapa bermaknanya benda tu utk saya masa tu?

bila awak masuk plkn, saya tak sempat cakap goodbye. hampir dua minggu tak mesej awak. awak mesti tau yg saya hari2 tunggu phone saya bunyi kan?

bila awak masuk matrik, awak ingat tak apa awak cakap kat saya? tulah first time awak open up and cerita pasal diri awak, family awak. dan itulah first time saya tak dapat cakap ape2 utk legakan hati awak. sampai skang saya still rasa sikit menyesal sbb tak dpt cakap apa2 time tu.

awak sentiasa akan cari alasan utk call saya. contohnya pasal nak tanya something related to english la, pasal reunion la. kenapa ek? sampai sekarang saya tertanya-tanya.

sampai sekarang, saya terpikir, awak sebenarnya ada rasa apa2 tak pasal saya? kalau takde, takkanla awak sanggup mesej saya hari2. kalau takde, awak takkan bazir kredit call saya sejam dua malam2 semata2 nak dengar saya membebel. awak takkan sanggup call saya pakai public phone masa awak kat plkn. walaupun awak suka reply pendek2 mcm taknak layan, tapi kalau awak takde ape2 rase kat saya, awak takkan reply langsung mesej saya kan? bila saya marah, awak takkan pujuk dgn smiley awak. awak takkan cakap awak rindu saya bila awak masuk plkn. awak takkan cerita apa2 pasal diri awak sbb saya tahu, betapa pendiamnya awak bila dgn org. awak takkan cerita masalah family awak kat saya, something yg awak tak pernah cerita kat org lain. awak takkan mengaku awak suka kat saya, kalau awak tak maksudkannya, kan?

tahu tak, saya mimpi kita jadi kawan balik? maybe we never will. however, i just wanna say: pls be happy with your life as i am with mine. i'm moving on. :')

..........................................................

how to go through a breakup - SPAN's way.

what are these?

these, ladies and gentlemen, are not MY way to get over someone.

to me, all these quotes are lies.

why don't we just accept the fact that he/she doesn't need us anymore?

why do we feel the need to have such negative thoughts about our exes?

let's be rational and a lil bit matured, 'kay.

if we broke up, it's just not meant to be.

i know how hard it is to forget someone, but think.

it's not only his/her fault, we do have our bad sides too.

so, apa point aku cakap mcm ni?

aku rasa bila kita break, benda first yg kena buat is MUHASABAH DIRI.

Allah buat kita mcm ni sbb takdir kita bukan dgn org tu.

we just need to repair ourselves, and wait -

someone better will eventually come along. :)

secondly, POSITIVE MINDSET, people.

anda tahu tak bila anda seorg yg positif,

benda yg buruk pun boleh nampak baik?

and thirdly, LET TIME HEALS YOU.

i've been there. i've felt hurt. until this day i can't stop stalking my ex.

but who cares?

at least aku tak sakit hati bila tengok dia dah ada awek baru.

cuz i already found many better people - you, you, and you. :)

the key is yourself.

p/s: let's pray hard for our upcoming result on the 10th. :$

7 things i pray NOT to get involved with.

1) MLM or anything berkaitan buat duit cara cepat.

2) hutang dgn ah long. who knows kan??

3) bercomolot di tengah2 KL or mana2 tempat public -____-"'

4) hubungan sejenis (Nauzubillah.)

5) bercinta dgn non-Muslim (Nauzubillah jugak.)

6) gig

7) kelab malam, no matter how much i like to go out at nights.

nak enjoy kena pikir hidup mati jugak kan? :D

7 perkara yg aku tak gemar bila baca blog org.

1) perkataan 'dier', 'lar', 'yew', 'jew' dan sewaktu dengannya.

2) too much fullstops...... haha......

3) blog yg pasang lagu -_____-

4) tulisan tak nampak langsung sampai aku kena tekan Ctrl+A baru aku dpt membaca.

5) blog yg tulis english dari mula sampai habis, and too sophisticated words.

6) content tahapehape.

7) tulisan colour striking, background colour striking.

maafkan saya, ini cuma pendapat peribadi. no heart feelings okay. still gonna follow you. ;)

luahan hati

i'm a tad bit insecure right now, cuz, yalah, i'm not pretty. nor smart. nor nice. nor hardworking.

i've got nothing.

sweet melang! :D

ya, ketidakhadiran saya dlm dunia internet adalah kerana saya balik ke kuala pilah, negeri sembilan. and i never regret it, one bit. J

Day 1

kami bertolak ke kampung pukul 1.10 pagi kerana kak niza dan kak noni mahu tidur2 dulu. T___T sepanjang jalan dgr lagu OAG dan Westlife. feeling oldies gila. haha. arrived at kampung pukul 3 pagi. sgt lega. pukul 4 pagi, tidur.

aku bangun pukul 11 lebih. kitorang bersiap2 dgn baju raya segala, then kami menahan kebulur sampai mak bung (mak long dlm bahasa nogori) datang dan belikan burger. after that, bertolak ke bahau. kepada yg tak tau, bahau nh boleh kata mcm centre (bukan center) of negeri sembilan. kat sini baru boleh jumpa tempat shopping, karaoke dan wayang. planning adalah nak tengok harry potter tp oleh kerana kak noni tak minat, kitorang decide nak karok dua jam kat situ. :D

bila pulang ke kampung, tengok family makcu dah ada. Pastu family maklang and makteh pulak datang. meriah la sikit kampung :)

Day 2

Bercadang nak ke Melaka tapi tak jadi.

Last last pergi mandi air terjun kat jeram. Omaigod. Super cool.

Day 3

Many had left the house from the second day, tinggal family makcik, makbung dan aku. They also left this morning, so tinggal aku dgn kak niza je. Tidur2 kemas2, pulang pada pukul 4.

.......................................................

Why do i like melang so much? Sebaaaaab. It has everything shah alam doesn’t. Tidur ramai2 kat ruang tamu, bunyi riuh makcik pakcik berborak dlm bahasa nogori, budak2 kecoh main buaian kat luar, makanan kampung - mihun goreng yg kau masak kat kampung, rasa dia sgt lain dgn bila kau masak kat bandar! cayela cakap aku.

Kalau dulu, kampung aku mmg complete ah, semua ada. Dusun buah, sungai, ayam itik lembu kambing, taik lembu kambing bersepah kat jalan... eventhough sekarang most of'em tak dpt jumpa dah, musim balik kampung adalah time favorite aku. haha :D

oh ya, aku takleh upload gambar sbb internet skang in a state of pre-hibernation. pffft. nanti2 la ye!

okay, ciao babe. maybe blog aku akan berhabuk sepanjang cuti nh. xoxo :-*

lovely holiday~

saya tak suka org berlagak.

dan saya pun tak suka berlagak.

sbb saya tahu bila berlagak mmg instant la Tuhan bagi balasan.

jgn cakap saya tak bagitau.

hmm. kenapa lelaki suka berlagak?

ada kena-ngena dgn self-esteem ke? wallahualam.

pls change, sayang. :)

*ok mmg takde kene-ngene ngn tajuk. shaddaplah. :D

birthDAY saya.

kalau tidak, hari nh akan menjadi hari yg sama utk saya.

except 150 wishes yg melekat di facebook Wall saya, dan juga di status2 dan link2 saya.

begitu juga message2 comel dari rakan2 yg rela taip panjang2 utk send via phone.

serta blog post comel dari kak syud :)

dan patung rabbit biru dari abang, dan teddy bear kecil dari mama.

mama juga ada bagi kain nak buat baju kurung. aww thanks mama :')

tidak lupa juga rm30 yg dihadiahkan oleh UPAX,

dan kasut pink comel dari ungku.

termasuk juga papa yg sanggup bawa pergi tesco dan pasar malam utk membeli segala jenis makanan yg sedap2 i.e. aiskrim, baked beans, sardin, tungking ayam (hehe), rojak, kueytiau goreng dll. terima kasih papa! :)

selain itu, saya ingin mintak maaf pada ayai sbb kesian dia tak boleh dtg rumah. nanti saya belanja ya. :'(

*dah macam speech dpt award pulak. well, it's not my fault, kau org yg bg wishes comel2 sampai aku terasa famous sbb kelam-kabut nak reply satu2.

thanks sweethearts, you've made my day. xoxo :)

ABC thong... i mean thingy.

Sebenarnya ikah ada tag dekat facebook, tapi malas nak buat. ni baru sempat buat, sorry ikah! and thanks for tagging!

A - AVAILABLE: Kalau aku kata ya, adakah encik ungku akan men-chokeslam aku? :D

B - BIRTHDAY: 12th November *wink wink. mmg ada makna aku buat benda nh. heheh*

C- CRUSHING ON: Ramai. percayalah.

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Air kosong.

E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Ungku

F - FAVORITE SONG AT THE MOMENT: Baby please don't go~ if I wake up tomorrow will you still be here?

H - HOMETOWN: Err. Shah Alam kot?

I - IN LOVE WITH: Ungku. yeayyy :D

J - JUGGLE: what the f?!

K - KILLED SOMEONE: Nope, more to something.

L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Err. 10 jam kot. tp kalau aku yg bawak adalah dlm 1 jam setengah paling lama.

M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Anything chocolatey!

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 4

O - ONE WISH: Sufficient money.

P - PERSON YOU CALLED LAST: Ungku.

R- REASON TO SMILE: gembira.

S - SONG YOU LAST HEARD: One Republic's Secrets.

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: Sangat lambat, so, rahsia.

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Kalau kata tengah tak pakai boleh? muahahaha

V - VEGETABLE: Only what mama cooks. Ya, aku mmg cerewet.

W - WORST HABIT: Lazing around?

X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD MOST RECENTLY: Kalau bukan krn pendaftaran uitm mmg aku takkan buat x-ray.

Y - YOYOS ARE: Cool tapi sakit hati main.

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio. yeah, the one yg kuat nafsu. XD

RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT YOU

Your favorite number(s): 1, 2, 9

What color do you wear most: Hitam, merah

Least favorite color: Errrr. aku rasa aku suka semua colour :)

What are you listening to: Let's Just Fall in Love Again~

Are you happy with your life right now: Always :)

What is your favorite class in school: Err. The part where I skipped 'em? :D

Who is/are your best friend/s: Adalah dlm 10 orang. ok tak menjawab soalan.

Are you outgoing?: Outgoing tu apa? Sorry malas nak google.

Favorite pair of shoes: Errr. that new pink ones he bought for me :)

Can you dance?: Boleh tapi prepare la nak muntah.

Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Err. this sounds kinky.

Can you whistle: Boleh tapi ungku salu marah sbb panggil setan katanya.

Cross your eyes: Yep!

Walk with your toes curled: Ouch. kedengaran sgt sakit. ok tak menjawab soalan lagi.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN...

Life in other planets: Wait, I haven't done my research yet. So, not sure.

miracles: Yes :)

magic: No.

Love at first sight: No. Never experienced.

Do you believe in Santa: Tidak.

Do you know how to swim: Kenapa tak tanya soalan lain?

Do you like roller coasters: Suka tapi takutttt!

Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows: Tidak. *teringat 2 Girls 1 Cup -___-"'*

Have you ever been on a plane: Tak.

Have you ever asked someone out: Selalu. Tapi kalau on the romantic side, pernahla sekali dua. :D

Have you ever been to the ocean: Of course.

Have you ever painted your nails? Nope. agak meragukan.

THE WHAT'S

What is the temperature outside?: Biasa.

What radio station do you listen to: Tekan je randomly and mana yg keluar lagu sedap, aku stay jela kat station tu.

What was the last restaurant you ate at: Uptown kot?

What was the last thing you bought: Kotak nak isi buku bawak balik.

What was the last thing on TV you watched: Cerita apa entah tadi kat TV2, ada Ashton Kutcher.

THE WHO'S

Who was the last person you IM'd: Err. tak ingat sbb jarang bukak.

Who was the last person you took a picture of: Myself. LOL.

Who was the last person you said I love you to: Ungku, baru tadi.

CRYING SECTION

Ever really cried your heart out: Pernah and benda tu sgt melegakan hati!

Ever cried yourself to sleep: Yes tp dah lama tak buat.

Ever cried on your friend's shoulder: Kat ungku.

Ever cried over the opposite sex: Baru cakap tadi.

Do you cry when you get an injury: Sometimes, tapi more to sedih bukan sbb sakit.

Do certain songs make you cry: Nope. tak terlalu feeling kalau dgr lagu.

HAPPY SECTION

Are you a happy person?: Yes, when I'm not in UiTM Shah Alam.

LOOK AT ME

What is your current hair color: Dark brown and always will be.

CURRENTLY WEARING

What shirt are you wearing: Baju tidur bear aku.

Pants: Nope.

Shoes: Nope.

Necklaces: Kau gila? aku nak tidur kot!

IN A GUY/GIRL

Favorite eye color: Coklat terang

Short or long hair: Long. Sexayyy!

Height: Tall

HAVE YOU EVER

Been to jail: Tak

Mooned someone: No :)

Thought about suicide: No, tak sanggup.

Laughed so hard you cried: Selalu.

Cried in school: Yep, dalam toilet.

Thrown up in a store: Nope.

Wanted to be a model: Never.

Seen a dead body: Yes.

Been on drugs: Err. Nak jawab ape ek?

Gone skinny dipping: Nope.

THIS OR THAT

Pepsi or Coke: Pepsi

McDonald's or Burger King: McD!

Single or Group Dates: Single, come on lahh.

Chocolate or Vanilla: Kena selang-seli.

Strawberries or Blueberries: Blueberries :)

Meat or Veggies: Meat!

TV or Movie: Movies!

Guitar or Drums: Absolutely Drums

Adidas or Nike: Nike nampak lagi cool.

Chinese or Mexican: Mexican kot?

__________________________________________________

people, people, please do it if you have the time! ;)